Author: LovetheBellyoftheWhale

Good evening world! It has been a long time. As it always seems to be when I come to my computer to write. Since my last post, there has been quite a bit of…unforeseen happenings happening. And as human nature would predict – I haven’t been utilizing the optimal methods of processing that I should be: reading (the Bible), praying, exercising and eating healthy (just a CONSTANT struggle), painting, or writing about these life experiences to help point myself and others to God’s word. I haven’t been doing much of any of that, for quite a while. If anyone else out there is in a similar boat…I hope that you will get the extra OOMPH you need to start getting back on track soon. Or to get on track for the first time maybe? What qualifies as “on track”? Thankfully we can find the means to answer that question and others like it in God’s word. Tonight I read 1 Peter, which I have not read in what feels like eons.

1 Peter is really some quality reading material. If you haven’t read it, haven’t read it in a long time, or are just looking for a place to start to help get out of a funk…I highly recommend it. I think 1 Peter is a really well-rounded book, full of important content about abiding in Christ and living out God’s will for us. It’s short enough to read in one night if you want, long enough to break up into chapters and go through more slowly, and in my opinion…it can speak to your heart wherever you are at on your faith journey.

So rather than rambling on much longer this time…I just want to suggest reading 1 Peter as a way to spend a little of your time after you read this post. I promise you won’t regret it. I hope the words will meet you wherever you’re at and provide reminders of what it means to walk with Christ, while giving some encouragement to do just that.

Until next time…

³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, ⁵ who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶ In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷ so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, ⁹ obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1: 3-9

If you haven’t already noticed…I have a procrastination issue that, when paired with life’s inconveniences (or even the “good stuff”), can become quite an obstacle. So here I am kind of forcing the words onto the page here. Better late than never and I hope for this to be the start of a routine I almost really had going for a while there! Please God, help me.

Throughout the holidays I was reflecting on gratitude and what it really means to love like Christ. We all fall short because we are imperfect beings, but we are made in God’s image and our calling is to keep working to love others the way Jesus loves us. That got me thinking about how it’s so common to step up our game in this area around the holidays as opposed to the rest of the year. I can’t say this applies to every single one of us, but I do think it’s an issue! We can get this extra boost of motivation to do good, treat others well, be extra generous, and overflow with kindness when we get into the holiday season. That’s great! But we tend to slip back into our selfish, less aware, and less considerate routines as we watch December 25th fade further and further away in our rear-view mirror.

I don’t know what you’ve read, but I can’t recall any Bible verses I’ve read so far that say, “make sure you are on point with your Christ-like love from Thanksgiving to New Years Day because Jesus’ birthday is right in the middle there and He expects us to be celebrating!” I don’t think the point of Jesus’ great act of love on the cross is fully appreciated and understood if we’re not remembering it and acting accordingly all year long. That being said, it isn’t easy. It’s constant work, we will fall short, and some days we might feel like we’ve failed completely. So how do we keep that extra oomph going once the hustle and bustle of the holidays has passed?

Here are some of the things I have made notes of throughout this holiday season.

• Practice gratitude: I’m sure you’ve heard this before, probably a lot recently. Nevertheless, it is truly undervalued. The simple act of spending more of your thinking time reflecting and thanking God can hugely impact your state of mind. Even if you have to force yourself each day to write down or think of just 3 things you can say “Thank you, God” for…do it! You don’t even have to enjoy doing it at first, but just do it. Give it a chance, literally count those blessing each day.
• Pray to be a better listener: do you ever feel like all these other folks talk about what God has said to them, or how He’s answered a prayer and you’re like….um so what does His voice sound like? Should I be worried that I haven’t heard it the way it sounds like they have? I realized that when I think about this…I’m always praying for God’s voice to be louder or more obvious to me. I think maybe I should be praying for my ears and heart to be more readily available to hear Him and receive His will for me. It’s not God’s voice that is the problem.
• Remember God isn’t like your friend Dennis: What I mean is…God is not a friend like Dennis is a friend. Or like Margie is a friend. God loves you and wants the best for you, as I’m sure Margie and Dennis do, but He is GREATER than you in a monumental way. He is the Creator of all things and holds you in His hands. It is easy to feel too busy to read your Bible or too busy to take the time to pray during the day. Those things you aren’t obligated to do can sometimes fall to the back burner or off your stove completely. Margie and Dennis might be the kind of friends that make it real difficult to skip out on plans or go MIA for any amount of time. You might get calls, texts, heck – they might even show up at your house unannounced. God doesn’t mandate how often, or how deeply we choose to keep in touch with Him. However, the quality and frequency of our interactions with Him affect everything – and the quality and frequency is sort of up to us. So it’s important that we remember how vital our relationship with God is to our lives and how DIFFERENT that relationship is from our relationships with the Margie’s or Dennis’s in our lives.
• Lemonade Isn’t Easy: Everyone knows the saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Oh yeah, just like that! Easy peasy, right? But if you have ever worked anywhere that makes fresh lemonade…you would know that making lemonade isn’t really that easy or quick when you’re fresh squeezing lemons. It can be messy, it can take a while, and if you’ve got any cuts on your hands you didn’t know about before…you surely will discover them quickly. What I’m saying is…our path may still be bumpy even when we choose to have a “can do” attitude when faced with challenges. Putting our faith in God doesn’t promise us an easy path. So when life gives you lemons, don’t throw them at your neighbors who keep blowing leaves into your yard. Ground yourself in Christ, count your blessings, and make the lemonade anyway – and go give some to those neighbors!

If you’re still with me and on board with even some of that, hooray! I hope it can help someone, in someway, keep pushing to LOVE and pour energy into staying connected with God, especially when it can feel like you just don’t have the oomph. Just starting with a little “Please God, help. I can’t, but you can” will make all the difference. Say it louder for the people in the back! (that’s me, I’m the people in the back.) Goodnight all, and I am praying for you. Please pray for me too ❤

Hello everyone! Long time no…anything, really! Since my last entry I have had a plethora of life shenanigans happening. Let’s not even discuss how my last entry was in JULY. My bad…we all know how life happens and before we know it, 3 months have gone by. Since then I have gone on what felt like a very quick vaca up north (it was actually like 5 days), had a second wedding anniversary, made my long hair short, resigned from a job, started a new job, and last but not least – officially ordered an inhaler for my cat that’s the same as the one I take twice a day. We’re both asthmatic and yes, we are the best of friends. This cat mom has officially leveled up. 

For those of you that read this blog – thank you, I appreciate you, and thanks in advance for your non-judgmental attitude about my huge lapse in content production. I mentioned in one of my Facebook posts that I was going to do a longer study on Jonah and I did finish that! In…August. So here I am in October finally putting together my thoughts:

• THANK GOD for the whale. That whale got Jonah to where he wouldn’t go on his own, saving his physical body from a cold and watery demise in the process. 
• We all struggle with things like: knowing what’s right and doing the opposite, wanting someone else to get what they deserve versus receiving mercy, picking and choosing which of God’s commands we will follow.
• Even in the midst of life’s storms, we have to try to remember that God is in control. We can’t possibly expect to make it through these trials relying on our own human abilities. When Jonah admitted his fault and gave up control, God provided the whale to get Jonah back on track. How many times have you been given a whale in the midst of a storm? Whether you knew it or not at the time, something along that journey was actually carrying you along. 
• Sitting in that whale’s belly must have been scary for Jonah. I’m sure it was lonely in there, probably not super comfortable (whale innards and all…I don’t imagine that was pleasant). Jonah cried out for help and he knew his cries were heard.
• We don’t have to pretend that everything about God’s plan is comfortable for us. We can be honest about our feelings. Are you in the midst of a trial? Do you think it wholly and completely stinks? That’s valid! You can feel that way and then still turn to God and trust. You don’t have to pretend that the struggle is pleasant. Even if you try, God knows how you’re really feeling about it anyway. Might as well be honest, leave your turmoil in his hands, and let Him help you through it. This might look like a little conversation between you and God that could go like this, “God…this is awful. I trust you, but this stinks like someone hid an egg in the house too well around Easter and here we are at Christmas time. Help, Lord.”
• God is compassionate. He sees our suffering, is fully capable of understanding how we feel (i.e. dying on the cross…He knows about pain), and He is eagerly waiting to show us mercy when we repent and give the control back to Him.

Even after Jonah decided to obey the Lord, he STILL didn’t like God’s plan to forgive the Ninevites. Why forgive them when they acted so wrongly toward God? Why not just obliterate them and shower more love on the people who haven’t strayed? Because God is a forgiving and loving God, merciful and generous with his Grace. 

If God wasn’t so merciful and loving, not a single one of us would stand a chance.

Thank God for the trials that teach us how to be more like Him, the whale’s He provides to keep us moving toward Him, and His supernatural love that is steadfast – unlike anything else in this world.

We don’t really know how Jonah’s mindset was changed after that. We know how it shifted around during the Book of Jonah, but then his story ends. Does he still struggle with obedience? Does he still wish suffering upon those who he feels deserve it? Replace Jonah with yourself. If it were your story, what would you hope it would go on to tell?

2 1 [a]From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. 2 He said:
“In my distress I called to the Lord,
and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
3
You hurled me into the depths,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
4
I said, ‘I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.’
5
The engulfing waters threatened me,[b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, Lord my God,
brought my life up from the pit.
7
“When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, Lord,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
8
“Those who cling to worthless idols
turn away from God’s love for them.
9
But I, with shouts of grateful praise,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’”
10 And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

Jonah 2

I think of myself as a kind person. Maybe you do, too. However, I often find myself responding to those closest to me with harsh words, shortness, and just…mean-ness when I’m feeling irritable or annoyed for some reason. 

It’s a funny thing how the closer you get to someone, you think you will become more loving and hope that you will become an expert at coexisting peacefully. The reality is that oftentimes, the closer you get to someone…the more comfortable you become not filtering out those emotions that can be hurtful before you respond in a situation. This applies to friends, family, significant others, really any relationship.

As I have mentioned numerous times before, Christians are called to act out of love always. This doesn’t always pan out the way we hope in any given moment. So with everything going on in the world right now, publicly and in our personal lives, I’m challenging myself and all of you.

When an unpleasant, annoying, difficult, even awful situation arises (and a situation will arise)…how will you choose to react? Our emotions undoubtedly get the best of us often, but we really do have a choice to how we respond to conflict. If we take a breath and think before acting, we may be able to avoid the harsh responses, hurtful words, and the damage they cause.

If we can choose to talk instead of yell, to try to understand instead of judge, to respect instead of dismiss, and to act out of love instead of anger…the conflicts in our lives would be resolved instead of just dealt with for the time being.

We can then also serve as an example to others. Wherever someone is on their faith journey, even if they aren’t on a faith journey at all: the more people that are out there in the world trying to love others through the challenges…the more people will see that love, experience that love, and hopefully be changed by it for the better.

So we always have a choice when faced with human conflict: do we want to hurt or do we want to help? If we make a conscious effort to pause and choose to act with love…we open the door to a better outcome.

I am talking to myself equally when I say these things. I struggle a lot with this. I hope we can all get a little better, so that we can all have a positive impact on those around us and that impact can grow exponentially.

13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

Let all that you do be done in love.

1 Corinthians 16:14

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

John 13: 34-35

We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:19

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

Proverbs 10:12

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

1 John 4:7

R E F L E C T

If you were busy celebrating Independence Day this year with a cheerful gathering (large or small) of family and friends, fireworks, good food, laughter and joy…I do hope that you had a wonderful weekend. I also hope that you can spend some time reflecting on the following:

What is it about the United States of America that you love? What components of your freedom bring you happiness and pride?

Think about those things. 

Does everyone who lives in our country have access to those things? Does everyone in our country benefit from those things you are thinking of? How different someone else’s answer to those questions might be…

If you can think of people who live in our country and do not have the same freedoms, do not have the same benefits that you do…what is different about those people that come to mind?

Lastly, think critically about yourself and your opinions. 

What have you personally done to guarantee that you can have the opportunities you have? What have you personally done to give yourself the chances you’ve been given?

What have other people, people who are different than you, personally done to NOT have those same opportunities and chances? Do you think less of those people or do you understand the systemic disadvantage that some people have?

Can you recognize that discrimination, racism, hate, etc have impacted the lives of many human beings from birth? Can you recognize that the color of your skin has had a significant impact on your life from the start, through no fault or credit of your own?

This is not a time to say things like “well they fatally shot him because he resisted arrest” or “okay but not all cops are bad so why are they protesting…”

This is a time to process, mourn, and accept the FACT that systemic racism exists and has caused years of human suffering. This is a time to recognize that police officers should never, ever use fatal force on any human being unless that human being is directly threatening the lives of that officer or other people. This is also a time to research what Defund the Police actually means before you decide the cause is garbage, because it does not mean taking away all police funding. We know there are many good cops out there, but until there are ZERO instances of tolerated excessive force and racial injustice within law enforcement…there will be cause to speak out and take action. Until good cops are not fired or reprimanded for standing up against those officers who commit these acts…there will be cause to speak out and take action.

It’s not okay “because he resisted” or “because we thought we were in the right house” or because “he had his hands up but we still felt threatened”. We’re talking about the justification of killing an unarmed person. And we have an overwhelming amount of examples where this occurrs with POC, all while armed white people (some waving a weapon around acting irrationally, some who just finished committing murder) are taken into custody unharmed.

It’s not okay. We are not okay. If your eyes are closed to this I pray that they be opened.

I understand that our country has done some great things and we do have some things that are worthy of celebration. However, until we can show (not just say) that we truly are ONE nation that fights for the rights of ALL, EQUALLY…we have a long way to go before celebration is really due.

This issue is bigger than those things we could put on our list to celebrate on Independence Day. Racism and inequality are too important to brush off and overshadow with fireworks and grilled food.

So…if you celebrated Independence Day this year (and I think many of us did), I hope you will *also* reflect on what’s happening in our world and how you can be a part of making our country a place that all people can feel proud of.

And for the Christians (myself being one) – we are all equal at the foot of the cross. God is very clear about whose image we are ALL made in, and how we are to love one another. We need to do better. WWJD…

So God created mankind in his own image…

Genesis 1:27

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12: 30-31

15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

1 Corinthians 12: 15-26

We are in the middle of so many bad things happening all at the same time. While so many are protesting and fighting for equality as human beings (STILL, for the….hundredth plus year?), we as a country are being distracted by virus news, arguing about which type of protesting is good or bad based on how we each think a person should react to what they’re facing, focusing on what Trump tweeted or what this racist woman said in a Facebook comment when maybe no one even knows who that person is or if it could be a bot being used to instigate the anger, the rest of the world is watching this happen. 

While so many are doing what we do best – making every situation about our individual opinions – our country still can’t get on the same page about how every human life has equal value. That’s actually a fact, not even a personal opinion. It’s the truth. Sesame Street can teach it to a toddler, so I think it’s possible for us if we really try to open up our minds a tiny bit. This very basic concept that simply asks us to look at another person, see them as human just like ourselves, and care about them because we are all in this world together…this very basic concept can’t be unanimously understood. This negatively impacts several different groups of people, but right now it’s clearly hitting the black community hard. That is undeniable. 

I’m ashamed, embarrassed, mourning, and feeling so concerned for our country. I have never been the “Proud to be an American” kind of person that gets all crazy excited about Independence Day, but right now I can’t even imagine what it means to be “Proud to be an American” if we can’t even be united as a people about the value of human life. We may have accomplished so many other great things, we have so much “stuff” and “wealth” and “weapons” and whatever else is deemed important, but if we don’t have truly equal treatment of human beings? What does all that other stuff even matter…

I feel so much anger toward anyone who claims to be a Christian and yet still harbors these racist, prejudiced attitudes about other people. What is difficult to understand about God’s clear direction in his most important commandment…

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12: 30-31

Seems pretty clear to me. I don’t mean to take any focus off the issue at hand, but honestly if the world understood that VERY CLEAR commandment and truly understood that it’s the true meaning/purpose/way of Christianity…if everyone acted under that belief…we wouldn’t have this despair and trouble.

Why is everyone so easily able to argue about looting vs rioting vs protesting but so many don’t think this question is important:  

“What is wrong with us as a people that these protests, the looting, the riots (whatever you call them, whatever you feel that they are)…what is wrong with us as a country that people have been pushed this far and treated in such a way that this reaction is happening?” 

What is wrong with US as a whole? And why haven’t we been able to learn to love each other over the last 70 plus years? We expect kids to get an entire education and find a career in a matter of like 17 years or so but we as an entire country, so many adults responsible for teaching kids, we can’t collectively wrap our heads around the fact that every human life has value and the black community is just as much a part of that as YOU are.

I’m ashamed, embarrassed, mourning, and feeling so concerned for our country. I have never been the “Proud to be an American” kind of person that gets all crazy excited about Independence Day, but right now I can’t even imagine what it means to be “Proud to be an American”…

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12: 30-31

We need more Jesus in this world, and not that religion that people use to justify the behavior that led to these protests. That is false and unacceptable. It is so saddening to know that religion is and has been used that way. We need more REAL Jesus in this world. It is our responsibility as brothers and sisters to our fellow human beings that are suffering, and God we need your help to change the hearts of so many.

Amen.

So the thought I’m thinking on this week is this: Human beings are not meant to fully understand how God works. No matter how hard to we try, how badly we want answers and want to know how it’s possible, human beings will never be able to fully comprehend our omnipotent, omnipresent God. 

I have heard people talking about their troubles and sometimes saying things like “but I’m sure God has bigger things to worry about than my little thing…” And I think to myself…well that’s really making the assumption that God is limited or has some maximum capacity for the amount of things He can have His hands in at any given time. God is way bigger than that little box we put Him in when we think that way. 

Fortunately for us, that’s not the way God works. How can He be in all places and times at once, hearing all of our prayers, laments, and praises all at once? THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW. It is divine power that is exclusively his, and we are the blessed recipients of that powerful love. Can’t we just feel that instead of struggle as a species with challenging it’s validity because we can’t backtrack and cite the formula that makes it possible? 

Human beings want knowledge, we want to know why/how/where/when. The more knowledge you have, the better. Of course, knowledge is necessary. You need to know how plumbing works so that when you can’t find toilet paper in 2020, you don’t start shoving paper towels and wet wipes down those pipes and cause your own personal Indoor Great Flood of 2020. Yes, there are things we all need to know and things we all need to know the reasoning behind. By the way, rumor has it that even “flushable” wet wipes really should not be flushed. I’m just saying.

I don’t think this type of understanding is possible with God, and I don’t mean that in a negative way. We can understand a lot about God – that He loves us, that He calls us to love others, that He sacrificed His son for us so that we could know Him and receive clear direction on how to love one another. It’s important that we take the time to get to know Him deeply. However, it’s not really possible to comprehend just how God can love all of us, infinitely, all the time, unlimited by time or space. We can’t understand how God loves like that and works that way because we are human, imperfect beings that aren’t capable of it ourselves. Understanding completely the ways of that love and presence is beyond our brain power capacity and we can choose, or not choose, to trust in Him and believe that He is that powerful (without having a human-logic-friendly formula to explain it to us). We can simply remain in awe over it and be thankful for it. 

What we do have to help in that area is the Bible, and thank God for that. It is packed full of God’s story, our story, and sufficient knowledge for us to trust and grow in relationship with Him.

Like I said, we can choose or not choose to believe. In one of my previous blogs I wrote about how trusting God and loving one another can be difficult. That goes right back to how our brains are wired, what kind of explanations we require to deem something as the truth, and how much more naturally it comes to depend on ourselves as the self-righteous leaders of our largely self-focused lives. 

So the point of all this rambling is that we need to let go of the feeling that in order to believe, we have to find a way to put God in the box that we understand. We’re in God’s box and He understands how it all works, we don’t need to have all the answers. He’s way too big to fit in any of our boxes and that’s good – remain in awe over it.

Speaking of not having answers – can anyone tell me why the overall shorts that are coming back in style are form fitting and made of stretchy denim? I got all excited about overalls making a comeback and tried some on at the store and could not figure out what was so terribly different from the overalls of the past. I remember overall shorts being loose, comfortable, pockets, all good things. Not so anymore. So I Googled about my confusion. Is my illusion just what the articles are referring to when they say “how to not look 5 years old when wearing overalls as an adult in 2020”? Because if loose, comfortable overalls are the kind that make you look 5 years old…maybe the kids are on the right track here. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it…or change it. The hunt for comfy overalls continues…stay tuned.

With just a few hours left of the weekend and a cat who is highly displeased with the lack of snuggles he’s received over the past two days, I sit here with a to-do list that didn’t get finished, a super achy back, and very cranky attitude. 

However, to stick with my theme of encouragement, finding love in your heart for the challenges you go through, and to not continue today’s post with negativity…I reflect on Philippians 4:8. 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

After last week’s post about the ruts we all find ourselves in, I feel as though God has been working in an unexpected way to help. Some of the women at my church had a Zoom meeting just to get together and chat (social distancing and all). We caught up on how we were doing and shared prayer requests. I was surprised to hear so many of the other women share that they needed prayers for strength, energy, and motivation to use their time better while we are all at home so much. A big part of that is spending time drawing closer to God, reading, and praying. So after hearing that from the other women, I felt a sense of community and connectedness knowing that I was very much so not the only person this was happening to. I also felt some accountability come over me because I had shared my current struggle, others shared the same struggle, and now we all have the opportunity to pray for each other. I’m aware of this mutual hope that we will all start doing better.

So…despite my cranky attitude at this ending point of my weekend (which has actually started to get a little more pleasant since I’ve been writing about all this), I was greatly encouraged by the other women from my church and reminded of how valuable it is to be connected with others on this path. Sharing your struggles and pointing others to God during theirs are two things Love the Belly of the Whale was purposed for, and that Zoom call was so in sync with that.

Over the past week I have spent a lot of time painting (actually finished something), I’ve done a kind of lazy version of yoga almost every night, and I’ve stayed on track with my daily devotional reading. I am still…roughly 17 days behind on my Bible in a year plan. That’s a few days more behind than I was last week. Whelp…

In honor of those words from Philippians 4, right now I am just going to focus on my gratitude for God’s work in my life and the blessing of sharing our human imperfectness with one another. 

There is this circle cycle I get stuck in where I fall out of my healthy patterns and fall onto the couch, night after night, watching episodes of lazy sitcoms after work until bedtime. I think it coincides with the end of a sunny weather spell that moves into days of cloudiness, but that may just be my way to identify a reason other than myself for this circular cycle I tend to repeat. If you’re following this blog, note that I’m posting this on Monday when I really intended to post something new every weekend. Procrastination…sitcoms…

I assume there are probably many of us that can relate to this sort of thing. If you don’t want to read all about my current frustrations, skip to the last half of this post where I get to what I know I should be doing instead of laying on the couch like a beached whale. (That’s actually really a sad situation, for whales and also for people who are metaphorically stuck like that).

When I am keeping up with my healthy patterns it looks like this: staying on track with my She Reads Truth “Bible in a Year” plan on my phone app, keeping clutter in the house at a minimum, going outside for walks several times a week, painting instead of watching TV, not eating all the sweets in the house in two days, doing all of our weekly meal prep on Sundays without complaining the whole way through, etc.

When I fall into the couch/sitcom pattern it looks like this: falling behind on my Bible reading plan (currently I am about…14 days behind…which pattern do you think I’m currently sitting in?), letting the house get decently messy – even skipping my weekly cleaning all together and letting it go two weeks, making back to back batches of cookies since I’m spending more time at home and want to have cookies on hand at all times, constantly thinking “I should catch up on my reading…but I could just really hammer it out tomorrow and catch up, yeah I’ll just flop onto the couch and think about it tomorrow” (spoiler alert, I won’t do it tomorrow either), think about painting and decide it’s too much work – flop on the couch instead. Basically I think about the variety of things I should/could do with my time and I then decide to just flop on the couch instead. (Just so you all know, I realize that if we are fortunate enough to have children someday…my cleaning habits will change drastically. I know cleaning every other week vs. weekly can be totally normal or more often than some are able. That’s just where I’m at right now.)

Notice how neither of the patterns include or leave out a healthy exercise routine. That’s because…I don’t have one! I loathe working out, lifting weights, etc. I do enjoy yoga, but even that has been a challenge for the last…well it’s been over a year since I’ve had a regular yoga routine.

My obstacles are my priorities. In my mind, I need the house to be clean and things to be in order before I will feel mentally able to sit down and read, sit down and paint, or do those things I really enjoy once I get started. If I don’t feel like cleaning the house, I can forget about getting to that point where I can allow myself to do those other things. 

So it’s an endless cycle. There’s a sunny day, the windows are open, I’ve cleaned the house, I sit and read, I decide to go paint, I have a great day. The clouds roll in (or nothing specific instigates a change), I fall off my healthy routine wagon and into the couch potato pattern, I wait it out until inspiration strikes again and I can get back to my healthy tasks. 

Some of the ebbing and flowing just comes with being human. We can’t all be at our best all the time, but…here’s what I think, and know, I should be doing instead of what I’m doing: 

I need to find a way to put praying and reading above the other things. So instead of cleaning being my obstacle, I get to the point where I put things like that on the back burner until I’ve spent time reading God’s word and praying. God’s word needs to be the “obstacle” that I feel I must spend time with before I feel mentally able to do anything else. Painting needs to be the “obstacle” I feel I must spend some time on before I turn on the TV and melt into the sofa.

So there you have it, the latest edition of “what’s on my mind this week.” Using my time in ways that give more acknowledgement to the value of the time God has given me. Please pray for me to improve on these things I KNOW are only good for me. I’ll pray for you too, whatever your ruts may be. Let’s all just pray for each other on this topic, among many others, all the time – but especially right now when many are home so much or feel like their routines have been really thrown off. 

We all struggle and not all of us have been able to use this quarantine time to develop a life-changing workout routine, scrub everything down to the baseboards in our homes, calculate and perfect our combination of caffeine/vitamins/supplements/zen meditation, and create a new, super beneficial life routine. There are those of us (me) over here trying to perfect the art of eating a bowl of buttery popcorn/snuggling the cats/not letting the cats get any popcorn/finding a good time to go to the bathroom when my cat is all snuggled up on my lap. All the while still thinking about all those things I should be doing…

Do you have a rut you’re currently in or one you have successfully defeated? Let this community know about it. Comment and share those stories, they might help someone!